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  • Writer's pictureLeslie McCrary

No excuses

Before I knew it even had a name, I knew dyscalculia would never be an excuse for me. I never wanted to try to awkwardly justify why I couldn't remember my phone number. And it seemed ridiculous to offer up reasons why I was horribly inadequate at school market days as I tried to process how much change customers needed if they bought one of my homemade items. So I just avoided it. And my avoidance just grew and grew. I avoided anything and everything I could when it came to money. I spent so many minutes and hours overthinking and planning my days and months in advance to try to avoid it. Like market days. Concession stands. Fundraising for Jump Rope for Heart. Even selling Girl Scout cookies. And when it was impossible to avoid, I pretended. Pretended I got distracted by a pet, forgot to eat breakfast, or woke up too early. Those were the reasons I didn't know what I was doing, I explained. Why I had no idea when it came to money. The trouble was, I was really great at pretending. I now know this is more typically called masking. I became a master at masking my math inadequacies. I never made any excuses. Except to myself.

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